Payton's Guide to Midwest Cuisine

A post by Payton

Midwest Food. Let's discuss it. We are now in Indianapolis, Indiana, and we have begun seeing different food and restaurants in the area. We have lately started seeing restaurants such as: Steak and Shake, Waffle House, White Castle, and Bob Evans. If you don’t know what any of these are, or haven’t eaten at any of places, here is a guide of what you need to know.

For those of you who don’t know what Steak and Shake is, let’s get this straight; it is not a Jamba Juice for meat (that’s what I thought it was). They do not juice steak. It is basically In-n-Out, that serves steak burgers. The word shake, is referring to milkshakes. But do not let the idea of

“steak burgers”

fool you. for those of you who are think that this place is better, or fancier than the average fast food restaurant, it isn’t. STEAK and GROUND BEEF, ( for those of you who are still having trouble-ground beef is hamburger) IS THE SAME THING. BOTH FROM COWS. You’re all welcome, I just saved you from intense disappointment.

Next…Waffle House.


To quote the brilliant philosopher, Jim Gaffigan,

“If you don’t know what Waffle House is, imagine a gas station bathroom-that serves waffles”

. Gaffigan is spot on. But let it be known, Waffle House, is AMAZING!

“If your ever up at 2 am and see a waffle house, remember, there’s still time to make one more bad decision”

–Jim Gaffigan.

But when you eat there, there should be minimum diarrhea, so long as you don’t order any meats.

Waffle house is one of my favorite road stops.

White Castle.

To explain what white castle is, it may be the only place that some of you will walk into and say, “ you know, I saw a McDonalds a few blocks down…”. That being said, if you ever get the chance, eat there at least once, just to say you did, it will be an experience you will never forget.

In a society that values supersize, White Castle’s burgers are surprisingly small. They are all sliders. This is a mere deception, thought up by corporate white castle. Because you never just have one burger. And THEY know that. That’s how they designed the menu.
For instance, the Sack Meal 1 is the base package. It includes 4 hamburgers, a medium fry and a small drink.

Or maybe, the crave case is what you need:

“Food for many, or a very hungry individual.

The Crave Case includes thirty 100%

“Beef”

Original Sliders in a convenient carrying case. Perfect for your next group event!”

And for a side, maybe you would like some fries, cheese fries, fish sticks, (really?) mozzarella sticks, onion rings, chicken rings, (what?) or onion sticks.

If you ever DO go to White Castle, you may notice that their burgers have little holes, and you may ask yourself, what are these? To answer your question, those are the bullet holes from where they shot the rat.

Now, onto Bob Evans. There is actually not much to criticize about this place. It’s pretty down-home and cozy, and has the bendiest bendy straws ever!!!!!! Also, It may be the best 3 dollar meal you ever get at a restaurant. ONE ISSUE- their booths only seat 4 people. WHAT IS THAT? So I’m being forced to sit in a CHAIR, because you people didn’t manufacture big enough booths!? Disgraceful.

So, there you have it. A quick analysis of some places to be envied by Californians.

Love,
Payton